One Hundred and Eighty!

Okay, ladies and gentlebugs, I’ve got some things to clear up with you all.

I will not be going back to Canada. I’ve decided to keep working here in Aberdeen, find a nice boyfriend, go out occasionally on Saturday nights with the girls and start my own vegan scented candle e-shop. I will get married here, have one horrendous child and ask that everyone makes sure they play Ronan Keating’s “When You Say Nothing At All” at my funeral. In between having a child and dying, I will holiday in Spain. Maybe twice.

Life. Sorted.

Ok ok ok ok ok ok, you all know I’m taking the piss here but there HAS been an upheaval of plans, which have even surprised me to be honest, but for good reasons! I think! We’ll see! *sweats nervously*

I got put on the waiting list for Canada. Despite all my organisation, blood, sweat and tears, I didn’t make the cut for a guaranteed working visa straight off the bat. Who knows when my chance will come through! It could be in one month, it could be in ten months. All I know is, I ain’t hangin’ around in Aberdeen to wait for my fate to be set. I call the shots, here!

weeeeeeewwwww!

So what’s a girl to do when her on-again, off-again lover (Canada) won’t text her back? FIND A NEW BOYFRIEND. Metaphorically. Not literally (HAH! Imagine if that was literally my way of combatting the situation: “Can’t go back to Canada. Plan B: going to Pearl Lounge tonight to tackle a man and make him my own.”). I have made a new plan for this coming year, and I am honestly so weirded out by how quickly it came to my mind, and how good I feel about it. I truly thought I would be devastated about not being able to go back to Toronto… but I feel like this was life’s way of telling me that I should be chasing other things right now.

After a year abroad, drifting through open mics and tiny gigs, I’ve decided to take a more direct route into a music career. I have been pining for other musically-inclined people to surround myself with, I have been longing for mentors, I really, really want projects. So, ya baby, I’m going back to school! This girl is applying for two different songwriting courses starting this September, down South (or should I say, Saaaaaauf): London and Bath.

Going back to music in an academic setting is something I feel I really, really need. I studied music for every single year of school, and for the first two years of University. I played the French Horn for seven years, I took singing lessons and got my Grades 7 and 8, I was on the choir, ensemble, wind band, orchestra, French Horn ensemble, and I wrote and composed music as well. Stopping music was a choice I felt I didn’t have — I had to continue with my Literature Honours degree, and didn’t have time to keep music on. Ever since I feel like I have left a big part of my brain neglected. When I work with music and notation and harmony and transposition I feel my brain working. I want to feel that again. I want to get sharper.

So: what’s the what? I AM going to go back to Canada for a month, I still have a flight pending. I’ll be landing on the 6th of May and staying for the whole of that month, for Canadian Music Week and gigs and parties and brunches and that sweet, sweet Canada Life. I also have a bunch of books and records that I need to get rid of. After that, I will be returning to Aberdeen and working in Le Wee Cafe to get me some monies together before I head DAAN SAAUF to either Bath or London. Or neither, if I get rejected.

And what happens if I get rejected? That bridge I can cross when I come to it. To be honest I am SO CALM AND COOL AND COLLECTED about this whole thing. Like, I have not sweat about it at all.

Something I am sweating about instead: this stupid Skinny Caramel Latte Man (who I have since shaken hands with and exchanged names — all initiated by me, obviously. I am on the warpath), who I am planning to ask out this Wednesday. I have embarrassingly planned the whole thing  M E T I C U L O U S L Y, thanks to several squawking conversations with friends. ("Do you want to go for a drink with me, maybe?" "OH MY GOD DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT") And, to be honest, I feel like I would be more comfortable auditioning for RSAMD or Guildhall than asking this guy out. But!!! I’m going to do it anyway, because:

A. I deserve to go on a date with an incredibly cute human being

B. He is almost 100% going to say yes. OK, like, 99%. Maybe 80%… I don’t know *cries and hides*

C. IT MAKES FOR A GOOD STORY EITHER WAY (the mantra for my life)

 But... like.... who doesn't want to date this ^^^^? WHO DOESN'T WANT THIS!??!

I have probably jinxed the whole thing by this point, but I literally do not care because I have SO MUCH else on my list of Important Things to Actually Care About.

So! That! Is! My! Life! Right! Now! 

Byeeeeee xxxxx